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bluepikmin:

you cant eat the pussy until you finish your vegetables 

trillow:

"hello 911 i’d like to report a murder in th-" "haha, wow you’re a little snitch. hold on a sec. HEY DAVE, CHECK OUT THIS FUCKIN SNITCH ON LINE THREE"

allwaswell-759:

So my older brother was in a book store and picked up a book about the difficulties faced by same sex parents in society today when a woman came up and bitched him out for being “too young to be reading a book about THAT sort of people.” He saw that she was carrying the third Hunger Games Book so he stared her dead in the eyes and hissed “Prim dies.” and walked away and I have never been prouder to have him as my sibling.

tylerchokely:

*gets 5 notes on a post* this is it this is the big one

grimshws:

omfg so i just messaged this guy saying ‘do u wanna see a picture of mah boob ;)’ and hes like ‘oh yeah ;)’ and i just sent him this im laughing so ahrd

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